whitman and kabobs.

i woke up feeling much better than i have felt for the past four days. i thought i had gotten all better but i got rejoiced too soon. i started choking on phlegm again. today was unexpectedly nice. i started watching the royal tenenbaums (another one of peter's suggestions), had maiwand kabobs, pizza from yesterday, read some whitman here and there. and i still have my first cigarette to look forward to!
splendid, absolutely splendid.
the only thing i couldve gone without today was the drama. of course.
drama. retarded and unnecessarily complicated drama which involved me trying to pry stories about ME from three different people and finding out later that there is no story.
it's hard not to worry about a night you dont remember already, but to have people that never talk to you in the first place, message you asking you if youre all right, rises up concern.
i was sitting there thinking to myself "...i dont know.. am i all right? what am i not remembering from that night..?"
that's.. scary.
and no one would tell me anything.
she just kept asking me questions that would imply something terrible happened to me the night before like "was everything normal the next day?"
....were things not supposed to be normal?
how do you not freak out after being asked that when you, yourself dont even remember exactly what happened that night.
i hope nothing happened.
oh yeah, im not going to drink for a while. but i decided this before i started getting these messages and dealt with all of that nonsense.
my dog, sandy, wont stop ripping up everything. i think she's going to get sent away.
im actually really glad im not drinking for a while. i dont even feel like socializing, let alone be around people.
(:

i contain multitudes.
-whitman